would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
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