I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
Randomize
