Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
Randomize
