you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
Randomize
