im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
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