fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
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