Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
WHO CARES HE GIVES YOU TOE CURLING ORGASMS AND SAYS YOU HAVE KISSABLE SKIN AND RUNWAY MODEL HAIR....WHILE INTOXICATED WITH HIS BEST FRIEND. AND THEN HE SENDS YOU CUTE SELFIES OF THEM!!!!!!! WTF MORE DO YOU WANT FROM LIFE!!! DIE HAPPY ALREADY LADY!!!
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