My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
Randomize