She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
Randomize
