What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
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