Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
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