If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
Randomize
