We tried having a conversation with our noses.
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
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