the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
Randomize
