i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
Randomize
