Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
Two words: nipple clamps
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