I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
