My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
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