3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
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