We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
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