Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
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