he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
Randomize
