If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
Randomize