I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
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