I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
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