Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
Randomize