Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Randomize