My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
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