I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
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