My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
"it" just moved
Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
Randomize
