I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
Randomize
