I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
Randomize
