All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
I woke up this morning with a half eaten bagel and an empty pack of imitation crab meat in my bed. This is going to be my response to pick up lines now.
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
