who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
I hope mine doesn't look like that
turns out the guy i was dating because he was a cop was not actually a cop. i learned this as he got arrested by real cops.
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
In other news, I just burned my penis
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
Randomize
