I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
Randomize
