Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
