I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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