We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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