Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
there is puke in my bra ... again
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
Randomize