Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
When I'm drunk i like to pretend my penis is zeus and instead of peeing i'm throwing lightning bolts into the toilet...it helps me focus.
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
Randomize
