used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
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