I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
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