Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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