Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
Randomize
