he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
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