So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
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