nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
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