well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
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