If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
Randomize
