When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
you had me at cake vodka
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
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