And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
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