Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize
