She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
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