i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
Randomize
