Dude my mom stole all your condoms
I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
Randomize
