how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
Randomize
