i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
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