I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
