Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
Randomize
