what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
Randomize
