Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
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