By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
Randomize
