I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
Randomize
