Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
Randomize
