I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
I'm both gender and math confused
Randomize
