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He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
tell your sister to shave her snatch
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Randomize