In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
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